I as soon as talked about on-line how a lot I like wet days, as a result of I by no means need to go exterior. Then I may have stated one thing about going 5 or 6 days with out leaving the home, and hellooooo, Judgey McJudgersons!
Look, web folks, I do not want your pity. I HAVE CATS.
Apart from, I DO depart the home from time to time. Typically even voluntarily. Nevertheless, with Florida mainly an enormous steam sauna crammed with mosquitoes proper now, I desire getting my sunshine via a window – and with the A/C at full blast, thankyouverymuch.
Some folks suppose an absence of dwell social interplay could make you go slightly humorous within the head, however I say the reverse is true. In truth, day by day I see completely socialized bakers churning out silent, frosting-soaked pleas for psychological intervention:
The signal says, “Turkey formed cake.” Inform me this is not a cry for assist.
And I am not speaking about particular orders right here, the place you possibly can perceive, say, Darth Vader using a My Little Pony. I am speaking the stuff they put out within the show instances, for all of the world to see and quietly again away from, being cautious to make no sudden actions.
We name it, “Somebody please simply make the voices cease screaming.”
[P.S. – Two words: “Blue boobs.”]
And now, edible ghost chickens, as a result of, yeah, that is completely regular:
“Bok Bok B’WoooOOOooo!”
The one that made this offers with folks all day.
Let’s all take a second to essentially let this one sink in:
Let’s simply say I would not invite this baker over to babysit.
(Why are there ghost flies across the edge? And two monsters hiding beside the crib? WHY?)
For all the times I’ve spent peacefully working at dwelling, it is by no means as soon as occurred to me to make edible toes out of gummi rabbits.
…and that just about makes me unhappy; I wager this baker’s head can be a enjoyable place to go to.
I clearly keep in mind my pre-blog days, after all, again after I had “regular,” people-riddled work locations. The worst was the return desk at a TJ Maxx. After a day of coping with deranged prospects who insisted the waffle iron that also had waffles in it was “by no means used,” I am fairly certain even these would’ve appeared like a good suggestion:
The trick is to eat them earlier than they begin speaking.
So keep in mind, extroverts, earlier than you decide us hermits hiding behind the blinds and dressing our cats as Stargate characters, typically getting out of the home is not all the time the reply.
Typically folks simply do higher on their very own.
And typically the mutant Strawberry Ladybug factor simply must die.
Hey Jill E., Niomi W., Anony M., Brocha S., Kelly W., Susan Ok., Carolyn T., Bethany, & Dani S, occasion at my place? Physician Meow-Kay and Tail-La would love to satisfy you!
P.S. Hey, you recognize what can be a wonderfully affordable buy to make proper now?
A taco fanny pack.
I repeat, A TACO FANNY PACK. With drink holder!